a collection

today i organized some things in my room. i mostly moved things from place to place. here i will write about some tiny and beautiful things i have collected that live together, like a family. they were once on top of my bookshelf, but now they are on top of my nightstand -- a small wooden table with three drawers. one drawer for pens, scraps, a red glove i love but can never find its pair, glue stick, sunglasses, lip balm and other small miscellaneous objects that just need to be kept in a drawer nearby. the second drawer is for thick socks. the third (the bottom one) for small art pieces and letters i'm currently working on.

:::::

three hazelnut shells filled with wax and a small wick. they are candles. ali made them for me and gave them to me this year on my very first mother's day, which was also my birthday. i don't know if i will ever light them. they seem too beautiful the way they are. if i did, it would have to be for something very important.

an elephant carving in the shape of an egg, a small oval with curious blue eyes, from my grandpa dean.

a small log that i can't call a stick because of its thickness. it looks like bark and is very weathered. there is an old man carved into the front of it. he knows things i do not know. also by grandpa.

a pinecone that i picked up at the cemetery in the northwest where my grandmother is buried (and my grandfather). i noticed it on the day she was buried after my family made a circle and said a prayer and cried tears and shared smiles. i promised to never lose it, but many times i have found it under the bed and once i almost smashed it. since bringing it here it has bloomed, opened, yet remained small.

half a walnut shell. inside is a perfect heart shape. this i noticed while on a walk right after catalpa was born and i knew it was for him.

an acorn that is small and tan. when tyler slept my room last late summer and early autumn i would find acorns on my bed. his pockets were full of them and onto my quilt and under my pillows they would spill. for a while i was certain he spent his days with squirrels.

a dark brown nut that is a mystery. i don't know its story and i don't know its type. i just can't remember either. what i do know is that i like the way my thumb fits on the flat surface of one of its sides when i hold it in my right hand.

a deep blue and black shell from angie. it came by way of the pacific. it has barnacles like hearts sometimes have barnacles. angie told me that heart barnacles are okay, because barnacles are also beautiful. this element is interesting. it is the only one from the sea and not a tree.

a small black statue. it is of a tall bird, perhaps a heron or whatever long-legged bird one might want it to be when they look at it. my grandma told me it reminded her of me and sent me home with it one day after a visit in cedar creek nebraska.

a "two-minute owl" carved in soft wood. (you guessed it) carved in two minutes. it is three-fourths the size of my left pinkie. another grandpa dean creation.

here is the one that sits in the center of this interesting collection; the red one-eyed horse. i know nothing of its origin. it is made also of some smooth wood. my memory recalls my grandmother telling me it is a swedish something or other, which is odd because we are not swedish (that i know of). red horse wears a white saddle decorated with green trees and blue hearts. red horse also keeps secrets and gives me some kind of strength when i look at her. the kind of strength you feel inside your chest.