someone tell me how are bones formed if not for magic

Last night Kristin, Shannon, Shelley, and I sat on the floor in the kitchen sipping tea and reading a book filled with pictures of a developing human that Shelley's friend shared with her. I felt like I was part of some secret and powerful council discovering the mysteries of the universe as we glanced at the images. The intricacies of life are incredible -- veins, blood, chambers of the heart, developing eyes and ears, all the vessels to transport things, and tiny, tiny bones pieced together to create a form.

I feel very prepared now, but also patient. The sun is here, the air is warm and breezy, and we are finally sleeping with all the windows open again. There is dew in the morning and birds chirping so loudly in the earliest part of the day (I spotted two cardinals and a dove today) and seeds sprouting that will soon be planted in garden beds. All I want to do is sit outside all afternoon, work on projects, go for long walks, eat dinner together, and talk for hours under this clear spring night sky.

I am confident about my decision to give birth at home, because I know it is what is best for me. I am excited to finally experience birth after so many months of the most crazy, mind-jarring things I've ever known; heartbeats, feet poking edges of my belly, elevated senses like smell and taste, heat, heaviness. I am honored to connect with other strong female bodies that have given birth before, to be surrounded by a support team including my partner, to share the birth with my community here, to meet our baby, to have this baby meet our families and friends, and to share our birth story.

None of this can go without saying I am really, really privileged. I know and am friends with at least five women who are active in the birth field, and who all encouraged me to explore exactly what I wanted for my birth. I also had access to so many resources (including great pre-natal care with midwives, about 30+ books, and a large circle of supportive friends and family). Many mamas have no support -- no partners, no doulas, no family, no community, etc etc. I hope that following this experience I can offer support, information, whatever I can to other women (and men). This is so important.

all my love to this little creature as it gets nearer and nearer...

c.